Washington DC – (satireworld.com)
“Ever catch yourself wondering just how many tons of heroin shipments made President Skank electable in the USA?” was a former top cop’s opening salvo at a DC security conference this morning.
“Me neither! That’s because the figures right here right show the equivalent to the Titanic’s gross tonnage, enough to sink the entire skag presidency.
“Mexican drug barons eat your hearts out.”
The remarks come amid reports in today’s Washington Toast that ex-Obama Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has tongue-lashed Chinese bank HSBC for breaking long standing anti-trust agreements on narcotics cash laundering.
“There can be no justification for this kind of behavior,” Clinton exploded, “allowing drug cartels to launder money in preference to the Clinton Foundation.
“That’s something the President needs to put right.”
The DC security conference also heard Clinton’s latest rant quoting how global banking executives who pocketed drug-fraud rake-offs barred profit sharing with ordinary workers.
And a host of other unfriendly, un-Clintonesque policystuff.
This afternoon’s session will be addressed by a former KGB human resources chief about Cold War bilateral agreements on Fair Trade bananas that propelled Obama to the US presidency.
Front row seats are still bookable via this website.